talk of the town

  • "Oh my God. I wonder why the men in my life never call me back as well. Thanks for turning life's heart-rending experiences into wonderful prose for us all to enjoy and cry over. Two penises? That's not crass sweetie. Your honesty is just astounding and wonderful. I wish I was you." - Mimi New York
  • "Thank you for the awwwwsome satire. If she can't take a joke, fuck her." - Seenster
  • "SK is dumb. End of story. Keep on pissing on her bonfire please." - Piu Piu
  • "Only Alex Blagg could write something this stupid." - beerzie boy
  • "Brilliant. Witty. Fantastic. Hysterical." - The Daily Ranter
  • "I would like to nominate this for a Nobel Prize. This is, without a doubt, one of the funniest things ever. Especially the line about masturbating to your own words. But who doesn't do that when they write something brilliant?" - Dave
  • "I can't tear myself away from the ringside action and ring-size drama. Ahhh, the drama." - Young Manhattanite
  • "Genius parody... I really hope [this is] written by a girl, and that she will be my new best friend." - Lindsayism
  • "Great site! Love the entertainment!" - Rene
  • "I luv the site. Now, who is this Stephanie Klein person and why is she impersonating the 2 of you?" - Scott
  • "I don't know why everyone thinks this sight is funny. It's painful. You are a great writer - your style is like William Faulkner meets Hillary Duff - but you are so concerned with what men think of you! I was once fat, too. I know you were fat because you, like all fat girls, were molested by your father. I managed to find my way out of obesity... I now teach Feminist Dance Therapy at UC Santa Cruz, and I can tell you that I am now skinny as a non-molested girl. I stare at your picture and think of what your shallow life must be like. I could show you a way out of that mess. Let me show you. Let me teach you." - Sylvia Jessica Plath

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Comments

lefty_grrrl

What about "Bitch" by Meredith Brooks?

Yesterday I cried
Must have been relieved to see
The softer side
I can understand how you'd be so confused
I don't envy you
I'm a little bit of everything
All rolled into one

I'm a bitch, I'm a lover
I'm a child, I'm a mother
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint
I do not feel ashamed
I'm your hell, I'm your dream
I'm nothing in between
You know you wouldn't want it any other way

lefty_grrrl

forgot the "i'm a bitch, i'm a tease, i'm a goddess on my knees" part.

Alexandra DuPont

Two songs are just incredible personal experiences for me, and have helped me through some traumatic episodes in my life:

"The Search Is Over" by Survivor
Now the miles stretch out behind me
Loves that I have lost
Broken hearts lie victims of the game
Then good luck it finally struck
Like lightning from the blue
Every highway leading me back to you

"Wannagirl" by Jeremy Jordan
I wanna girl,
I wanna girl as smart as
she is fine,
Someone that I can say is mine.

(You BET this should be played in high volume in a residential area!)

One song is about discovering my dream Ducky who was always their beside me. The other is like a surgical view of the inside of a man's mind. And a girl should always know what her man wants. Otherwise, how will she know what to withhold?

Lee

Oh Anne Beth, dear sweet Anne Beth, it often seems to me that "your feelings have gone and you can't go on", so I choose Tragedy by the Bee Gees as the soundtrack to your posts. But be brave dear, be brave, and remember: "there's no fight you can't fight," so in no time at all this song will be replaced by You Win Again.

piupiu

tragedy is a good choice lee, but i suggest by S Club 7 (http://www.sclub7.co.uk/) as I don't agree with cover versions, especially by such fly by night chancers as the beegees- its essentially a parody of the original, and we all know how DREADFUL that is.

The Daily Ranter

I want to know when YOUR book is coming out, because I'll be the first in line to buy it. You girls are fabulous!! Your minds are young, fresh and fantastic. Boy, I love reading you!

lonesome

The soundtrack of ´Cruel Intentions´is great. It describes my moody personality.

Christopher London

I keep waiting for you to run out of material but you don't and that is the most surprising thing in this run of yours.

Frank Lemonbrows

Your so sexy and real. I only own one tape, and it's the only one I'll ever need: Tori Amos' Little Earthquakes. I listen to it over and over. But this is the best writing I have ever read other than Tori. Also I live in a truck. Im reading this in a Kinkos. Where do you live?

mimi

Phuck you I don't do what you tell me
Phuck you I don't do what you tell me

MILSM. Summer of 99. Vaycay In Hamps. Fisting and Tasti-Delite, with Heath bar topping. Licking and dripping. I wore my Jimmy Choos and left one in the back of his dumpster truck. Never saw him again. But then I don't often stay up until the garbage men come. Mmmm.

mimi

Phuck I'm beginning to write like you too. You are my heroines.

3rd Times a Charm ( 3T )

Uh, hmmm. The Meredith Brooks Bitch song is good. You ladies are hilarious.
3T

Noisette

The Avril Lavigne and Enya selections are choice. Well done.

Can I add another? A little "knockin' me out with those American thighs" by ACDC?

I have American thighs. I wish I had smooth silky Euro-thighs like the Goldstein girls.

tom tuttle

Why not parody helping hurricane victims? or better yet, why not just do it because it is the right thing to do?

Itsy

Hey Tuttle, instead of chastising bloggers, why don't you send a check to the Red Cross instead?
Your time would be much better spent.
I think the media's doing a good enough job covering what's happening down South.
Let's take a moment to have a laugh, mmmkay?

Lex Jenkins

The soundtrack to my life includes:

1. "Linus and Lucy" - Vince Guaraldi Trio, tho' I'm also fond of the version done by Jackal using a chainsaw.

2. "Machine Gun" - Jimi Hendrix. A tender, meaty love song.

3. "Everlong" - Foo Fighters. Just the whispered stuff in the middle that I can't understand. The rest is absolute crap.

4. "Who Will Save Your Soul" - Jewel. I can't remember the lyrics, tune or even what she looks like from the neck up, but I love the sound her boobies make mooshing against the back of her guitar.

5. "Treasure of the Sierra Madre" - Everything Walter Huston says is like a crystalline waterfall tinkling over my tiny brain.

He's Dead, Jim!

I love Barry Manilow's "Weekend in New England" since it reminds me of how I made fish soup from SCRATCH for all of my admirers.

You know, I *own* some high-quality kitchen equipment, and I know how to use it. And I'm not just talking about nonstick cooking spray, either.

piupiu

has anyone else noticed the clumsy amendment to sk's latest post to make her seem less of a selfish cunt?

extreme unction

congratulations on an appalling selection of songs!

plus: there should have been more songs with "ME" in the title. maybe john lennon's "look at me", but with a total irony bypass

"i love the way he is sooo honest about wanting the whole world to look at him..."

baddie

i liked both "breakstuff" by limp bizkit or "(i hate) everything about you" by ugly kid joe.. until therapy made me better. hahaha ! funny blog!

Courtney Ashlee

Ms Goldstein, I don't know if you realize what a role model you are to our young women out there, trying to make it in this male-dominated world, but you are. You are like a mentor to me.
I am sixteen tears old, and my mom is a total bitch. She never lets me do anything, and she buys me all the wrong clothes - I mean, things that thirty year olds would wear! She doesn't let my boyfriend stay over, and she tells my stepdad not to buy me more expensive things than she can.
Basically, she is the devil.
The other day, I told her I wanted to wear a really stunnung outfit for the first day of school (since I didn't get a coming out party), so she went to some old people's store like Sacks or something. She bought me a banana yellow pantsuit with thigh high boots and a purse to match. I was so scared to wear it, but she called me an ungrateful brat and made me wear it anyway. So I did.
All the girls made fun of me. I wondered what you would do in a situation like that. I figured you would make it look great, so I pulled the Zipper in the front down to my belly button and took off my bra.
It worked! all the girls still made fun of me, but the boys couldn't keep their hands off of me! Some girl said something like,"You look like an idiot<' so I just said loudly, "I take it in the ass, what do you do?"
I am still the most popular girl with the boys, and some of the other girls have started to wear yellow pantsuits and brag about anal.
I would be a lonely, ignored girl without your inspiration. Thank you.Oh, and my boyfrind loves it in my ass, too! It was weird to get used to, but we don't have to worry about condoms anymore, and I just think of how someday I'll be where you are in life. Maybe sooner, since I didn't start off fat.
I LOVE you!

the yankee clipper

hey tuttle, why dont you go fuck yourself. i would bet my bottom dollar that there is no entry in your checkbook for hurricane relief, and, as they say, charity begins at home, so reach into your skirt and pony up. and if you are worried about people blogging about unimportant topics in the face of human tragedy, why dont you start with greek tragedy or this fish. fish is too busy blogging about her ass being shown on 42nd street, and greek is busy writing about anal sex with faux butter spray (although she does always seem to make note of her charitable efforts at the local soup kitchen, when not posting heinous photos of her and her JAP friends in ridiculous poses).

Moxie

I had to pass along this "blog" as well. I think she was inspired by Stephanie Klein. It came out last summer. She created some website and publicity campaign about finding a man and getting engaged in 6 months. She was 25 or 26 at the time. And, not surprisingly, she's still single.

She? Is my Stephanie Klein.

http://www.marryblaire.com/blogmarry.html

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