talk of the town

  • "Oh my God. I wonder why the men in my life never call me back as well. Thanks for turning life's heart-rending experiences into wonderful prose for us all to enjoy and cry over. Two penises? That's not crass sweetie. Your honesty is just astounding and wonderful. I wish I was you." - Mimi New York
  • "Thank you for the awwwwsome satire. If she can't take a joke, fuck her." - Seenster
  • "SK is dumb. End of story. Keep on pissing on her bonfire please." - Piu Piu
  • "Only Alex Blagg could write something this stupid." - beerzie boy
  • "Brilliant. Witty. Fantastic. Hysterical." - The Daily Ranter
  • "I would like to nominate this for a Nobel Prize. This is, without a doubt, one of the funniest things ever. Especially the line about masturbating to your own words. But who doesn't do that when they write something brilliant?" - Dave
  • "I can't tear myself away from the ringside action and ring-size drama. Ahhh, the drama." - Young Manhattanite
  • "Genius parody... I really hope [this is] written by a girl, and that she will be my new best friend." - Lindsayism
  • "Great site! Love the entertainment!" - Rene
  • "I luv the site. Now, who is this Stephanie Klein person and why is she impersonating the 2 of you?" - Scott
  • "I don't know why everyone thinks this sight is funny. It's painful. You are a great writer - your style is like William Faulkner meets Hillary Duff - but you are so concerned with what men think of you! I was once fat, too. I know you were fat because you, like all fat girls, were molested by your father. I managed to find my way out of obesity... I now teach Feminist Dance Therapy at UC Santa Cruz, and I can tell you that I am now skinny as a non-molested girl. I stare at your picture and think of what your shallow life must be like. I could show you a way out of that mess. Let me show you. Let me teach you." - Sylvia Jessica Plath

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Comments

yankee clipper

well, worse than phils tired look is the fact that she is GINORMOUS. see, she is one of those chicks that makes the mistake of thinking if she shows her big fat tits, guys wont notice her big fat ass/stomach/legs/etc. lesson to the ladies: we do notice, and then we dump you (but we dont say its because youre fat, we say "its not you, its me").

Noisette

Ouch. Harsh.
To the girls: puleeeze do a parody post of Steph-o's super-giggle-happy "I laughed, I cried, it was better than 'Cats'" birthday post. I weep for the death of irony and humility.

edina

I would love to hear from some of the SK friends that have to suffer through all the picture taking....does it get old? wish the camera would just get put away?

anyone brave enough?

Kelsi

What are you girls WAITING for?? You have TONS of parody waiting to be written based on her birthday gagfest.

Phil looks like he's so not into her. Bored and FORCED to be in pictures. It won't be long before he realizes her psychotic personality and issues are just too much to handle. All the sex in the world with that cow can't possibly be worth all the bullshit.

And did you read the part about them telling their Stephanie stories - "how we met or how I changed their lives". Changed their lives??? Is she on fucking crack, this chick? She needs smack in the head.

C'mon girls - get writing!!!!

edina

after I posted here that Phil looks bored, SK switched pictures on the B-DAY post. Pathetic to be notice this I know....but it passes the time while on boring con calls

The Daily Rant

I agree with Kelsi. WHAT are you waiting for?? C'mon, I want you to "change my life"...lol...write a new post, darn it!!

Jolly

speaking of Phil and Stephanie...

I can't decide which of them is more pathetic - him for stalking her through her blog or her for actually hooking up with him.

Here's my prediction: He'll pop the question in the very near future. She'll puke up the details all over her webpage and shift into Bridezilla mode. That will go on for a while...then the wedding - picture perfect, of course - then the honeymoon (gag) and then...reality sets in.

My money says she ends it - he looks like the kind of guy who actually thrives on being ordered around by needy, pathetic women (and I'll bet SK reminds him of his mother).

He's Dead, Jim!

I know Phil. He is a good, kind, decent person. He is involved with his community, is an honest businessperson and a caring human being. SK asked to be "stalked" through her blog.

However, when somone who does not fit her description of a "desireable" does it, she calls in the authorities, no holds barred. Now that Phil has been recruited as her head policeman, he is simply standing up for his GF, no matter how distasteful any of us think she is. Despite what we all think, he cares for her and is doing, from his perspective, what is right.
~HDJ

Noisette

I'm fascinated that you know him. Thing is, I'm sure he's lovely, and I'm sure she's exciting, if a bit of a black hole. It's just her writing that is in desperate need of... of what? Of general humor, of irony, often of structure. But mostly, in her writing, she completely lacks the ability to laugh at herself, which I think is what really gets to us. To me anyway.

He's Dead, Jim!

Don't get me started. I for sure have some opinions regarding her. But I will keep those to myself for now. I'll just say that I am worried about Phil.
~HDJ

edina

SK is the blogger the world loves to hate.

J

Yes, please, a birthday post! Preferably one with a picture of people with spoons on their noses.

Because spoons on noses=FUN!

Subtext Whore

Does the still background on that spoon/nose double exposure suggest she took a tripod along with her? Did her friends furtively raise their eyebrows at each other while she setup the shot?

(And btw. "Entrances and Endings" is beginning to sound a little ominous to me. I hope the sisters haven't gone.)

edina

Subtext whore, I think you are right- looks like a tripod was used. WOW.....

the yankee clipper

this is all i have to say about phil: anyone who could possibly tolerate much less want to spend time/their lives with that piece of shit SK is a loser, and a handjob. i mean, seriously, what kind of toolbox would possibly want to be with a train wreck like her. and what kind of upstanding man would feel the need to defend their gf in the comments section of a blog. i mean, is phil 16 or is he an upstanding adult as described above? my verdict is in on phil: while he may have been a decent guy previously, he is just as sickening now as SK is.

and what i find funniest about her is that she thinks she is hot. i mean, on top of having a face that could cause a 25 car pileup, she is a fat f#ck. she needs to go back to fat camp, this time the one for adults. and the only thing worse than her JAP friends are her sickening fans.

it just goes to show how many jerkoffs their are in the world, and how blogs have been a bastion for people that were formerly asswipes, but now have a forum to cultivate all the "love" from people who are bigger shit for brians than them.

the yankee clipper

oh, and i actually find this fish more offensive than SK, and its a close fight between who is uglier and fatter. this fish has an ass as wide as a giant tuna, and a face as repulsive as a catfish. and her putrid posts, if they werent so sickening, would be humorous.

this fish, i cant wait til the blog obsession is over so that you can return to your normal life as a fat ass loser instead of a cult hero for those with more pathetic lives than your own.

the yankee clipper

i dont know if anyone has read SK's most recent post (for lack of a better term), but its subject is a lovely discussion of a dialogue with her mom talking about her bloody discharge when birthing that fat piece of shit SK. and the only thing more surreal than someone feeling that content of that nature is good material to blog about, are the responses she chooses to allow up on the blog ("This is a classic, and as always, you always hit themes that run through all of our lives.")

so let me speak to that commenter: the theme of a mother spewing blood when going into labor is NOT a theme that runs through my daily life. and for those who it is a daily theme, you should terminate yourself immediately as you are a loser.

In Love With Yankee

I think I'm in love with the Yankee Clipper. He (I believe it's a he) is SO right - Phil is a fucking tool and she is a pathetic piece of shit. And I agree with you about the Fish too.

The Daily Ranter

This is going to be long, but I think it's worth it. And I apologize in advance for hi-jacking this comment section with a post from another blog. But in my opinion, THIS is what a birthday blog should sound like. This girl is easy to like. Her voice sounds genuine. I've read several of her posts and I like her. You can read her blog, Always Write at: www.alwswrite.blogspot.com

Here is how someone should turn 30:


"Punch me in the face or tell me I'm fat."

This is what I asked M to do at work today. She and K had been loitering in my office for 40 minutes (don't those chicks have work to do? lazy Monday I guess.) and I was waiting for my 1:30 birthday lunch with Boss.

This morning I woke up as miserable as I felt yesterday, and took my coffee with an extra shot of blech on account of the rain. So I was only half joking when I asked M to hit me or be mean, anything to dislodge the tears in my chest before lunch. Whenever I'm feeling foul and Boss (one of those warm & loving sisterly/motherly types) asks me how I am, I spill tears and my guts all over the place. It's okay in the privacy of my office, but I couldn't risk the embarassment at the Daily Grill on M Street. George Stephanopolous is a regular there.

K and M scattered when Boss knocked on my door at the scheduled time. "Can you just take a look at some video footage before we go to lunch?" she asked. "I've got the VCR all set up." She walked ahead of me down the hall and opened the door to the conference room. And for a moment I just stood there blinking, because the first thing I saw did not compute:

Propped on an easel in the far corner was my Bat Mitzvah sign-in board, an 18-by-24-inch photo of me at six chubby months old, sitting naked in the bathtub with a giant flowered shower cap on my head. I took two more steps into the room and looked to the right, and then came the waterworks as my parents rushed forward to hug me. I think I heard someone call out "Surprise!" but I was so stunned to see my Dad smiling at me in my office in the middle of the day, everything else sort of faded into the background.

As you may know, I am a bit of a control freak, always on top of the goings on in and around my life. With family matters it's easy; my mother and sister are big talkers and lousy liars, so all I have to do is stand around with my ears open. At work it's pretty much the same deal; I just shut up, listen and let yentas be yentas.

But this time I honestly had no idea. Not a clue. Apparently my mother had planned the entire thing, enlisted my friend R to gather my co-workers (and get M and K to keep me penned in my office all morning -- nice work girls!). Mom even ordered a huge sushi platter when R told her how much I love to eat it for lunch.

I was stunned and silent for at least a half hour. I hope they didn't take my speechlessness for a lack of gratitude. But while I tend to run from the spotlight (I avoid public speaking at all costs), my mother will chase it all over the stage. So my colleagues now know more about me than they ever would have thought to ask: that I weighed 8 pounds and 10 ounces when I was born, two weeks overdue; that until I learned to walk and talk my mother thought of me as her own living doll; that I was three years old when she gave me the haircut that (I'm pretty sure) ruined my life; and that I was the biggest pain in the ass and often, in spite of it, the favorite child. Boss also said a few words that made me weep a little and blush a lot. Dad, as always, was a quiet rock (as in "you-are-my-" and not "dumb-as-a-") sitting by my side. And the cherry on top of it all was when M and R read a list of "30 Reasons We Love You," which they had printed out with a photo of the three of us in a bar on Saturday night.

So if I was worried before that nobody loves me, my only worry now is that the people who do don't know how much I love them back. Someone threw me a surprise birthday party today. Whatever does or doesn't happen on Wednesday (my actual 30th), whoever calls and whoever forgets, it just doesn't matter. I got to celebrate with my friends and family. It's the best birthday present ever. It's the gift the keeps on giving.

edina

Based on the SK birthday weekend pics- looks like Phil is done. He looks bored, distracted and just not that into her. IMO.

reality

Lets be realistic. All of us guys would definitly phuck SK. She's pretty hot. If it was gauranteed that she would say anything or cry tears of oy or hold your hands during the act we all would.

Phill is not an attractive man. Not in any definition of the word. He's getting way above his level pssy so I can understand why he puts up with it. He's doing well for himself.

She sucks, but picking apart her every post isn't becoming. Right sisters???

the yankee clipper

reality, please dont speak for anyone else, as i wouldnt fuck SK with your dick and Phil pushing. Unless of course i was nearly comatose on beer and painkillers. I find nothing physically appealing about her, in now way find her "pretty hot", and my disdain for her would prevent me from getting an erection, even if i was horny.

and in love with yankee, thanks for the kind words. i believe i accurately describe SK, Phil, and Fish, and unfortunately, i find them all sickening. again, SK and Fish's blogs are like train wrecks, i hate them both, but i cant stop reading them. Their fans are pathetic losers, and when the blog obession ends, they will return to being the worthless fat pieces of shit they always were.

Blume

I agree with 'reality': picking apart her posts isn't particularly becoming, and in fact makes it look like SK is taking the high road in comparison. Insulting her appearance is also mean— and after all, it's not her appearance that is so annoying, but her obsession with it.
Let's not detract from the measured brilliance of Steph and Annie's wicked skewering.

He's Dead, Jim!

Say, Yankee Clipper... you must be one adonis of a man to be so free in your critique of women's bodies. I agree that certain bloggers are obsessed with how hot they think they are, and it's fair to point out that you do not agree. But leave us poor, sexy-curvy-strong-skinny-tall-short-square-round- lumpy-smooth-brown-olive-yellow-light selves out of it. We are hard enough on ourselves.
~HDJ

the yankee clipper

blume and HDJ, i really dont give a fuck whether you think picking on SK's appearance is mean or not. she is a dbag, and is the FIRST person to mock and deride others based on their physical appearance. that being said, if she wants to post that kind of shit, then i feel others have the right to critique her in any way they like. and even if she didnt degrade others, i would still call her a fat sow, because she is, and i really dont give a fuck what anyone thinks about it.

and HDJ, i am no adonis, but then again, i dont post to the world that i am "fetching". i could see SK fetching a stick, or a ball, but she is certianly not fetching as a term of attractiveness. it just dumbfounds me that someone as heinous as her could possibly see herself as attractive, and the fact that her fans would support that view is equally as sickening.

I guess the bottom line is, when you are as much of an asshole as SK or this fish, you are fair game for an attack of any type. i mean, maybe you have forgotten what asswipes they are, so i would recommend going back and reading some of their posts, and then see if you feel the same way.

and if you do, great, and i support your write to have and voice that opinion. i myself do not agree with you, so either the girls will ban me from commenting here (like fish and SK), or you can choose to not read my commentary, but either way, i dont care.

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Passing Judgement


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