If you've read this far without realizing that this is a satirical blog, and you're simmering with righteous indignation about us plagiarizing or some shiite, here's why you can't sue our (tight and shapely) asses. First of all, parody is protected under the fair use portion of U.S. copyright law. Essentially, we are allowed to "borrow" the ideas and writing style of another blogger/writer/human being/self-indulgent twat for the sole purpose of creating satire (as opposed to, say, landing a six-figure book deal). Secondly, to our knowledge, we have not copied anyone else's writing verbatim, which would constitute plagiarism. Thirdly, we're allowed to be this bitchy. Satire is considered free speech, even when it's done cruelly and anonymously. (That last part is kind of an inside joke. It just never gets old.) Finally, let me say it again: free speech, people. FREE PHUCKING SPEECH.
I was hoping it wouldn't come to this. I was hoping that the average blog reader would be smart enough to catch on after a while. I was hoping that the target of our little parody - who TOTALLY deserves it, by the way - would at least be grown up enough to take a joke.
But apparently not. So let me just take this opportunity to say that if, despite our best efforts, this blog gets shut down, it was all a big joke. Thanks for laughing with us. And go buy a shirt.